How to survive betrayal of your loved one

That's just the world was full of paints, the sun and warmth, and in one moment everything was lost, there are only darkness and scorched ground around. This feels like a person who betrayed. Betrayal, whether it is a betrayal of a spouse, a friendship of a friend or a stand at work, is always a knife in the back. After such a person loses faith, but not only faith in this close, and in all humanity. Survive betrayal is to learn to trust the world around again. Psychologists allocate several stages on the restoration path, and they will have to go through.

The first condition is shock and acute pain. It is difficult to believe in the treachery of your loved one, such a native and loved one, for whom you are a mountain, which believed, like yourself. Thousands of questions and emotions beat you. No constructive reflection and conversation at this stage and speech can not be. Imagine yourself or ask for support from friends or relatives. The most important thing now to choose the right listener is a person who will not retell your words, spoken in anger, and will not put it later when deciding on further relations.

Then the stage of resentment and hatred occurs. Some people on this phase begins to beat the thirst for revenge. Remember that in this situation you are moving only emotions, and about actions made in the attack of anger, you can regret for a long time. If thoughts about treason pursue constantly, you need to switch: go on vacation, find a new hobby, go to dances. The more betrayal in my head, the cunning act will look like, the more unhappy you will.

The next phase is the adoption. Only after awareness and humility with the current situation, you can take such an important decision: to forgive whether the traitor or delete forever from your life. Think about what everyone can stumble. It is unlikely that a close man deliberately caused you pain. And if he sincerely repents, that is, the chance to establish relations again. But at this step it is necessary to honestly answer another question: "Can you really forgive and let go of this situation? Or will you constantly remind of what happened? ". If in the soul you know that the second option is more like the truth - it will be very difficult to restore mutual respect and trust, it is almost impossible without the help of a specialist.

The real steps on the embodiment of the conceived can be very painful, but without them. Remember your solution is only 50% of the total contribution to the relationship. You can be very surprised when your Judas will declare the reluctance of the establishment of relationships or, on the contrary, will violently begin to ask or demand it. Mentally drawing a forthcoming conversation, be prepared for this development of events, then nothing will choose from the rut. If, in the end, you have been made up, you should not put the hint of the offender very much, but it is not necessary to pretend that you are not needed. A person should know what pain he caused you - tell us calmly, without screaming and hysterical about your feelings.

Return of faith in others is a long process. The fear of coming on the same rake - here's another barrier on this path. That is the painful thing that happened, the more hope we laid on the traitor. Think, maybe you should not shift so much responsibility for your life on the shoulders of another person? Or maybe it should be more detachable to approach the partner's choice?