A wonderful and cute kid, your angel, suddenly he did not like himself. Capricious, hysteriate, for any attempts to establish communication meets a sharp refusal. The child becomes unmanaged, and you do not know what to do with it. Often psychologists, and the parents themselves write down such behavior on the crisis of age. But to pass the stages of disobedience and a stormy protest is easier when you have already learned to find a common language with a child.
How to find a common language with a child in the crisis of one, three and seven years
Mortification, the child begins to confront parents, as if proving: "Here I am a person, you need to reckon with me." In order for such behavior, it should not be surprised, it should be remembered about the main crisis stages and the behavior characteristic of them.
- Crisis one year. With the first protest, as a rule, Mom faces when the child turns 3 months. The baby begins to capricious, demanding increased attention to himself. Some kids turn away from the chest, not wanting to take it. Such a riot mothers often spike on the notorious teeth, a shortage of milk or other factors. In fact, the reason lies in the first protest and opposing yourself to mom. With the same refusals, whims, and in one-year-old age - disobedience.
- Crisis for three years. Here a small arm begins to feel the strength of my mom and dad, as if testing the boundaries of what is permitted. Children are more likely to show their defiance, tantrums suit in public. This is a difficult test for the parents to go is not so difficult.
- The crisis of seven years. During this period, the child understands that he is an adult. Surrounding it are not as small. The social role of the student poses a toddler task in which he has to deal. Hence, excessive shyness, or vice versa high self-esteem, as well as the unwillingness to show their feelings in front of others, grimacing, aggression, isolation or false.
Find a common language with a child through mutual understanding - it's so easy
- Love, attention and patience. Here is the first factor that will help parents find the way to the heart of the child. The baby must know that Mom is always there and support him. This advice is especially relevant for preschool children. Do not forget to repeat the child: "I love you", "I like how you painted / dressed / coped with the task," "You really need you." It's not so difficult to settle confidence in my child and in what you love him. And this is half the case.
- Do not deceive the baby. Promised - do. It is the confidence that not deceiving inspires confidence in your child. He knows that you can rely on a difficult moment and will not let it. It is false, albeit even a little, is able to form a malfunctioning abyss between you.
- Do not pretend. For a minute. If you are upset, tell about this to the child. There is nothing galloping in it. If you do not like his drawing, you do not need to show a false interest. Praise your child for the effort, show that it turned out, and what you need to work. For example: "Let's try to draw a sun", "see how easy it is and simply draw a beautiful bird."
- Spend more time together. Of course, it is easier to give a tablet or sit down to watch cartoons. But then do not require the child to come to contact with you. Joint time, including games, walks and rest in nature, will benefit all: both children and her husband and you. The family, where the word "we" means the "team" is usually strong and friendly. In addition, joint classes bring together and create a relaxed atmosphere at which it is easy to talk to a child for different topics.
- Help the baby. Psychologists call it by active listening. Postpone all things. Listen carefully to your child, fully perceiving his words. Repeat the above and ask leading questions. "You are afraid to do it, because ...", "You are angry, because ...". Try to solve this problem together.
- Give freedom. Do not enter the child. Let him try to dress himself, wash, gather to school or by his will manage his pocket money. Even if you see that the baby makes a mistake, do not correct instantly. Offer your assistance, if you see that the child is in extreme difficulty.
- Forget about Pinki. We often "kick" a child with offensive words and prohibitions. We say: "Sit and do not bother", "do not break, stretch", "where you climb", "how much I told you ...", "I didn't remove the plate again. Which of you will grow, carelessly you "," And Kohl, Masha, Dasha know how, and that, but you ... ". Such phrases kill the child. Figuratively expressing, you give the child every day a small portion of poison, which is not excreted from the body. Where it leads? At a minimum, to mutual misunderstanding. Therefore, resperate your child. And learn to respect yourself.
- Constancy your friend. If they said "no", then stick to the words. Promised - do not forget and follow.
- Do not task the baby. The shortage of attention is easiest to compensate for gifts. Usually parents buy unnecessary toys, because there were no such. Because they can not refuse themselves in temptation to buy half maps, even to the detriment of their needs. Realizing that it is possible to get the desired, the child will begin to arrange hysteria. Psychologists advises from an early age to explain to the child from where money is taken and consult on family estimates.
- Faced with lies. It's a shame, unpleasant and not clear why the child did it. Most often, the lie indicates that the baby lacks your attention, and it thus makes it clear about it. Or, on the contrary, the hyperopsek causes an internal riot. There are often cases when children are lying because they are afraid of punishment or prone to fantasy. In any case, calmly explain to the child that you are upset and try to figure it out together for the reasons for his act.
Sincere, gullible, loving children are ready to forgive us small disadvantages and mistakes, if we are respectful to them. Finding a common language with a child is not difficult. To do this, the main thing is to remember that he is not your property, but a holistic, independent person, who will be the will of fate in your family. Treat your child with respect, understanding and love. Then the difficulties in communicating will be minimized.
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